/Austin: 11/

Hola Family!

 

This week was really important for me. I feel like it was truly a week that will be able to change me for a long time, forever. As you know, I´ve been trying soooooooooooooo hard lately to be a good missionary, to be obedient. I realized this week that I was being obedient. I was being really obedient. But on Thursday to Friday, I fasted. I chose to do a kind of fast that my cousin taught me from her mission. In her mission, it´s call the 40 day fast. What you do is fast one day and ask the lord what he wants you to sanctify. Throughout the day, ideas come to your mind, and then for the next 40 days, you focus on those things, praying every morning for help from the Lord to do it, and every night, talking to the Lord about your successes and failures from the day. On Thursday, as I did that, I recieved some very specific answers. One of the answers that I got was during my study Friday morning. As I studied, I decided to study the 4th missionary again. As I read, I realized that I am being really obedient, but I am not being the 4th missionary. I realized that I was holding back my heart. I wanted to have success, I wanted to baptize, to baptize, not to help someone recieve Eternal Life. I wanted to teach so that we wouldn´t be walking around so much in the street. I realized that I was going about it all wrong. Completely wrong. So I decided that I needed to change. I realized that the reason that I wasn´t giving my heart was because I wasn´t being like Christ. I recieved very specific revelation that said that I need to work to develop Christlike attributes. I need to follow the spirit instead of my knowledge. They are things that I already knew, but I needed to be reminded. As part of my study, I just prayed. I layed my heart on the line for the Lord. I told him everything. I told him how I felt. I told him all my problems, all my blessing, everything that I wanted, everything that I needed, and I begged Him for forgiveness. I felt what Alma describes in Alma 36 "20 And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! 21 ... Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy." I felt the power of the Atonement, again. I feel so weak because I have to repent so much, but I am so greatful for the chance that I have to change, always. He is there. he is the way, the light. He has the power to make us happy, and I am so greatful to be His son and feel the power of the atonement of his son. After that moment, I felt a true change in me. I felt that he truly was helping me. I realized that I wanted to teach because I wanted to help everyone recieve the same blessings that I recieve. I wanted to baptize so that someone can enter in the door to the path to eternal life.

 

This week has really helped me develop humility. In church, I got discouraged. My investigators didn´t come to church, I felt like I had done all I could, but nothing happened. I didn´t know what to do or what the Lord wanted me to do, but during Priesthood meeting, I recieved another revelation from the lord. It was so short, but so powerful. I felt him telling me "el senor quiere que seas humilde. Quiere que dejes tu conocimiento y confies en su espiritu. Es un castigo que te da porque te ama (helaman 15:13) necesita que aprendas. Necesita que cambies" (the Lord wants me to be humble. He wants me to leave behind my knowledge and trust in His spirit. This is a punishment that He gives me because He loves me. He needs me to learn. He needs me to change) The Lord wanted to show me that He wasn´t pleased with me before, but he wanted to show me WHY he had to punish me. Why all these things have to happen. And I´m grateful because I know he loves me and know that he doesn´t do anything unless it´s for the benefit of his people (2 ne 26:24)

 

I read a letter that Lexie benjamin sent to me last week. Her last letter to her mission president. As I read it, I read one part when Lexie said something about her motivation. I asked myself "what is my motivation? Do I have a reason for being here?" and I recieved a direct reply. DyC 18:10. Because the worth of souls is great in the sight of God. That´s why I´m here.

 mom - my second week as a trainer was hard. It´s really different, but I like it a lot. I´m learning a ton. My comp´s getting a lot better. he´s still a bit scared, but he´s gotten better. Mostly he´s just tired because I make him work so hard. and with the packages, I heard that some are in the offices and the other one came from the guy in my ward. Thanks!

 

Dad - that picture was awesome! you can see the plane´s shadow in the clouds. And I´m jealous of the beach. that would be sweet

 

John - that is so true. I´ve learned that. We have to just keep going, and look for the good in every moment so that we are happy and can accept the lord´s plan. Like right now. I want to have a baptism, but i know that there is something that the lord needs me to learn. (like humility, like I said) and I know I won´t have success until I learn it, so I just try to be as happy as possible always!

 

Jordan - estas vivo?

 

Tashita - estas viva?

 

Shaylee - estas viva?

 

Love you all!

Elder Schouten