Austin: 3/16/2015 - The Lord knows us

Hola Familia!

 

If anyone ever tries to tell you that the Lord doesn´t know us, that He doesn´t love us, they are wrong. They have no idea, and I´m so sorry for them. The Lord knows us. He loves us. He will show us the way, He will comfort us, and He will give us the trails that we need to become closer to Him. 

 

These last few weeks have been a serious struggle. It´s been really hard. I haven´t been able to understand. I´m trying to do all I can, but I have just felt weak. I have felt abandoned, alone. I have felt like I´ve been carrying around a thousand pound load on my shoulders, totally alone. I haven´t understood why. I´ve been doing what I need to do, what I´ve always done to overcome my trails, and I felt weak. But I have realized why I need to feel this weight on my shoulders. To help me remember that the Lord loves me and knows me.

 

The Lord never leaves us alone, but He lets us feel alone so that we can come to trust in Him. He lets us feel alone, so that we can come to understand His love and His spirit. Everyday, I come to know Him better and I come to understand His love, more and more. He gives us trails to let us learn. "why do we have to fall down? So we can learn to pick ourselves up again." The Lord has let me fall, and now has reached down His almighty hand to help me stand upright once more. I know if I never fell down, my pride would overcome me and make me a monster, but my loving Father in Heaven has always given me trails, so that I can become perfected in Him.

 

 This week, I saw the Joseph Smith movie with Joel, the long version that´s an hour long. As I saw the struggles the members of the church had, and especially that Joseph Smith had, I asked myself "could I trust in the Lord to the point of overcoming those trials? Do I love Him so much that I would let my children die, let myself be tarred and feathered, give my life for Him?" I don´t know, but watching their story strengthened me and helped me have the strength to continue. I know the Lord strengthens us. He knows exactly what we need, and He will ALWAYS give us what we need, if we only ask for it and obey. Many times, He will not give us what we want, but He will always give us what we need. 

 

The Lord has not removed me from my trails yet, because to be purified, I need to continue in the refiner´s fire. But I know now why I need to burn, so that I can come out a pure, true disiple of my Savior, Jesus Christ. 

 

I know that we don´t see the effect of all that we do. We don´t see the impact that we have in the life of the people. But we change everyone we met. God is so loving, that He inspired a young man from my first area to write me today. He´s on a mission now, and he still remembers me by name and wrote me. I had no idea that I had make an impact on his life, but I did. Or the spirit made an impact on him throught me.

 

Also, Saturday, Joel got baptized! In the picture I´m sending, it´s me, my comp, Joel, and Vladimir. Vladimir is Joel´s boss and he gave us the reference. We tried to convince Joel to have Vladimir baptize him, because it´s always good to have the members baptize. But, he didn´t want to. He chose me. I honestly didn´t want to baptize him, I prefer to be a witness instead of the guy who baptizes. But, I baptized Joel. And after I baptized him, they closed the faunt door, and I saw his face. He had the biggest grin on his face that I have ever seen! I asked him how he felt, and he could just nod his head. He couldn´t even express what he felt in words. That was an incredible experience. In that moment, I remembered why I´m here as a missionary, and why I´m willing to keep going, even when things are rough.

 

I hope you can feel and understand what I´m trying to express!

 

Thank you all for your advice. You all played a part in helping me recieve the answer that I needed, and that now I need to apply.

 

Love

Elder Schouten